letter to crazy kamikaze deer...

Dear crazy kamikaze deer,

I don't know what you were thinking when you decided to use my car as the means for your death. I mean, I know my car is great, and I think so, too. However, there are many other options that I feel would be better as a means to end your life. I'll list a few, so you'll know next time...

1) Hunters. They actually think it's good if you die. Plus, they're completely prepared to pick up the mess. And they probably don't scream when you run into their cars and cry a lot after you die.

2) Religious Mass Suicide by drinking cyanide-laced flavor-aid. It worked for Jim Jones. That way all of your friends could go with you at the same time. It's a community effort, not one deer dying alone at a time. Plus, all your friends WOULD be doing it...

3) Some other options could be drowning, suffocation, lethal injection, electric chair... all of these are great options...

If I were a crazy kamikaze suicide deer, I would definitely choose option 1. I have one friend in particular whose life would be much happier if you did. I would say thank you for choosing me, of all of the cars that drive down Murray Lane in a day, but I'm really not all that grateful for your choice. Regardless, I hope you have a wonderful life in the hereafter.

Sincerely,

Robyn

Here are the answers to the questions I've been asked:
1) I don't really know what kind of deer it was... I saw its face and eyeball (which will forever be in my brain), and as I drove by it this morning on my way to work, it definitely had 2 little antlers (is that what they're called?), so i'm guessing it was a teenage boy deer... you can let me know if i'm wrong... but that's what i'm going with right now...
2) Yes, the deer ran into my car while I was driving. It hit the front drivers side, causing me to be without a signal light and temporarily causing my drivers side door not to open. (Thanks to Shane for fixing it so it opens now.)
3) Yes, there is damage to my car. It could have been much worse. Had I spent 15 seconds more on my hair yesterday morning, I could have had much more damage, and from what i hear about deer accidents, I could have died. So, i guess it's a matter of perspective when it comes to the damage...
4) Yes, I left it on the side of the road. I did not attempt to get out of the car and look at it. I did not, for even the slightest moment, consider strapping it to the top of my car and taking it home. Do you know me? Why would you even ask if i would do that?
5) Yes, I believe it was dead when I left the scene. However, it had turned around on the side of the road by this morning. But it's still in the same place, so yes. I think its neck probably snapped when it hit my car. It spun all the way around and landed on the side of the road on the opposite side of the road...
6) Yes, I screamed when it happened. And I cried after it happened. And I think I said, "what the crap?" a lot...
7) Yes, I am okay. Thanks for caring about the deer more than me. :)

If you have additional questions, please feel free to ask.

What a great way to start a Sunday morning.